That's great, just so you know.
time to pull yourself together shreeda summer is here just so you know...
hm and i'm on a reading and writing binge with creative touches
well not really writing yet, but i am very much compelled to write.
i want to just write and write and read and read and write and write and
consume chocolate and recycle the wrappers right after. sounds like a friday night plan to me!
but then again, summer promises friday nights every night.
too bad tgifs got ripped off by that deal.
doesn't matter- i'm vegetarian anyways.
i must write this with a flavor of ... angst? no, anger, lust, jealousy.
jealous of you my beloved reader, well not you-- just the ex best friend who is
known to be obsessed with reading and all things books
but she lies my beloved
she lies, she's not worthy your heart
because to her in those words lie nothing but the "get a life" "freak" labels she'll attain through the process.
it does, it DOES really do prove to be a bummer that
i'm here telling these words from the outcome of her
operation on my heart, the beated and fore-granted sympathy
that was abused and manipulated in every way a friendship-gone-wrong
could possibly include.
luckily for her, her theories that i did not care were not true
and yes, i did care.
i cared enough to pull away, to say enough.
why you may ask? are you confused?
yes, i was confused too. that maybe i'm not the good friend here
but you have to leave her
i took her seriously. why? because i cared. i let if affect me to an extent
that it became a sickness, just the very sickness she said she was living
a sickness that staggered our friendship over.
and i took her seriously, and i left. i left because that's what i would do
if i took her seriously.
and hence, i care.
i still care.
i write these words, im angry
i wan to see her stumble and hurt
because of
me i hope she reads this
i hope she cries
i hope she knows she's like a drug
her tears intoxicate sympathy out of me
and then i regret it later
for example, now is a good time of regretfulness.
when i read her friend's online profile:
5% of teens would have a BREAKDOWN if Harry Potter trailer popped on the movie screen for less than 30 seconds, ready to get kicked out the theatre and have food dumped on her. Copy and Paste into your profile if you're part of the 95% that will (sadly) have to deal with this, bolt your "friend" to a chair, chove popcorn into her mouth, or just prop your feet onto the seat in front and watch your friend spazz out and pass out at your feet
no doubt that's about you, my 'lovely' bookworm.
your identity isn't safe anymore is it? toodles.
who ever thought i could be that hateful?
especially if you abuse what should be grateful,
you should know my dear, you should. congratulations!
--
here's a poem darling
that was online on my profile for ages
if you were going to cry for any online post of mine
let it be this one honey
you'll know you'll be granting me pleasure (:
which is of course, a sign of weakness
or you can Rise Against (pun intended) and for the worth
of our friendship, shut your bitch mouth and learn a lesson
or two from that friend who was a shadow covered by your
bittersweet lies;;
well then? here we go, here you are::
From a window, staring out,
or from outside, a window staring in,
But I don't feel a standing point,
Nor the need to find out where I belong,
My care has numbed as you play
those tragic words which have been cried on
for too long, you've made them dry.
Pleasures stretch out in their emptiness,
But these dark holes you sketch, and with what
Intent and meaning behind them, losing a mind
Becomes more easier and these fantasies
Are the only level where a non existent feeling throbs
a sign of life, a sign of vulnerability.
So hearing those tragic words in between advertisements
filled with desperate screams of, "keep me, keep me. i need
it, i need it but don't say keeping me comes at your care,
because if you really felt, you wouldn't need" have sold us away
More often to dream worlds where we can thrive in
A simple word, not so peacefully attained.
Your breath breathes mine, and my throat is dry and I speak
in hushed whispers and 'never-minds'. It's better to listen than
to waste all strength higlighting a word named compromise
if it compromises my say in things longer Since we 'know' to
you 'no' is taken for granted, and hearing you say it kills my
'yes' to us and these artificial beauties which hold our toes.
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angry/angst; its all the same.
depressed
